20. March 2026

Holy Lime Cottage Cheese Jello Salad

✝️ Holy Lime Cottage Cheese Jello Salad: A Recipe for the Righteous

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him." — Psalm 34:8

This was my great grandmother Gertrude Hazeldine's recipe. She was a bishop's wife and proud of it. Served in my fancy @orrefors bowl because good church ladies know things taste better when served in fine crystal. PTL! @dolesunshine pinneapple@shopritestores cottage cheese @kraft.foods.usa mayonnaise

🙌 Ingredients of Faith:

• 1 can crushed pineapple (the fruit of the Spirit, canned for convenience)
• 1 packet lime Jello (green as the pastures He makes us lie in)
• 1 cup mayo (anointed with creamy glory)
• 1 cup evaporated milk (because even milk must ascend)
• 1 cup cottage cheese (curds of holiness)
• ½ cup chopped walnuts (for the wisdom of Solomon)
• Water (living or tap, your choice)

📖 Directions: The Gospel According to Gelatin

1. Open the Can of Revelation
   Crack open that sacred can of crushed pineapple. Drain the juice into a vessel that can hold at least 2 cups — I use my trusty Pyrex chalice. Try to keep the pineapple bits out, but if a few sneak in, let it be known: “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
2. Baptize the Juice
   Add water unto the pineapple juice until it reaches the holy measure of 2 cups. This is your baptismal blend for the lime Jello. Stir with reverence.
3. Heat with Holy Fire
   Pour the sacred liquid into a saucepan and add the lime Jello. Heat until the gelatin dissolves completely — like our sins in the blood of the Lamb. Let it cool slightly, lest ye be scalded by the wrath of citrus.
4. Mix the Miracle
   In a separate bowl, combine mayo and evaporated milk. Stir until smoother than David’s harp playing. Slowly add the lime Jello mixture, whisking like a Levite preparing incense. “Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40).
5. Add the Fruits of the Spirit
   Stir in the crushed pineapple, cottage cheese, and walnuts. This is your holy trinity of texture. Mix until it resembles manna from heaven — or at least something vaguely edible.
6. Pour into the Promised Pan
   Transfer your divine mixture into an 8×8” baking dish. Cover it as Moses covered the Ark, and place it in the fridge to rest for 4 hours or overnight. “For everything there is a season… a time to chill” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, paraphrased).
7. Serve with Joy and Gladness
   This dish is best made ahead of time — Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any day you feel like confusing your guests with a salad that jiggles. “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord” — and maybe a confused one when they ask what’s in it (Psalm 100:1).

🙏 Final Blessing:

May your Jello be firm, your cottage cheese be curdy, and your pineapple be plentiful. And may your guests say, “Surely this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes” (Psalm 118:23).