20. March 2026

Holy Cheeseburger Pie

🙏 Cheeseburger Pie: A Holy Offering from Sister Margaret of Hugo

"And lo, the Lord said unto the congregation, 'Let there be pie, and let it be filled with beef and joy.'" — Second Helpings 3:16

📜 Ingredients of Righteousness

CRUST (The Foundation of Faith):

• 1 cup Bisquick (the manna of Midwestern kitchens)
• ¼ cup milk (the milk of human kindness)
• Knead upon a floured board as if preparing the altar
• Roll to fit a 9" pie pan — the sacred vessel of cheesy salvation

"Upon this crust I will build my Cheeseburger Pie." — Matthew 16:18 (sort of)

FILLING (The Meat of the Message):

• 1 lb. ground beef (the sacrificial cow, well-pleasing unto the Lord)
• ½ tsp. salt (for thou art the salt of the earth)
• ¼ tsp. pepper (to rebuke blandness in all its forms)
• 1 medium yellow onion, chopped (and wept over, as Rachel mourned for her children)

Brown the beef and onion together until they are united in holy matrimony. Drain off the fat — for we must cast out the excess, as the Lord cast out the money changers.

"Cleanse ye the skillet, for it is the temple of flavor." — John 2:15

Add unto the mixture:

• 2 tablespoons Bisquick (a double portion, like Elisha received)
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce (the mystery of the Gentiles in liquid form)
• 1 small can of mushrooms (because even fungi have a place in the Kingdom)

Place all into the pastry-lined pan, as the Ark was placed in the Tabernacle.

Top with the Anointed Covering:

• 1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce (the blood of the tomato, poured out for many)
• 2 beaten eggs (symbol of resurrection and brunch)
• 1 cup grated cheddar cheese (the golden crown of dairy glory)

Pour this holy trinity over the top until it covers all sins beneath. Bake for 30 minutes at 375°, or until the Spirit moves and the cheese bubbles like Pentecost.

"And the oven was heated seven times hotter, and the pie emerged unscathed." — Daniel 3:22 (Minnesota Edition)

🙌 Final Benediction:

Serve warm, with a side of gossip and a generous helping of forgiveness. Perfect for potlucks, prayer circles, and any gathering where casseroles are currency.

"Taste and see that the pie is good; blessed is the one who brings Tupperware." — Psalm 34:8

Would you like me to sanctify another recipe or turn your next dish into a culinary revival?